Love Me Dead
by JacksMannequin102
Summary: Chuck's abandonment hurt Blair more than she will ever admit, but now that they are forced to live in the Hamptons together, things might get a little rough. Blair finds herself in more pain than she bargained for...slightly spoilerish, be warned
1. Kill Me Romantically

**Love Me Dead**

**A/N: Based off of spoiler scenes from previews and pictures, I filled in the gaps. BC can't go anywhere without bringing scandal with them so why not enjoy it? It's part one of at least three parts. Sort of drabble-esque but they all follow the same story. **

**Chapter 1: Kill Me Romantically**

Chuck stood under the humming afternoon sun in his sweater, of all things, in the crisp grass of the backyard lawn. It crunched under his shoes as he shifted, the grass that is. He stood beside one of the pillars supporting the balcony of the main house, the stone as cold and heartless as he felt, and set his eyes on his step-sister and her guest.

The guest that should be his guest.

The guest that should be cat-napping languorously in his arms as he read the paper.

Yes, Chuck Bass had a secret desire to live the domestic life. He always had an itch to scratch that which he could never have.

One thing he couldn't have was a domestic life. For one, he'd need someone who'd be willing to share in the monotonous simplicity with him and said candidate is not even likely enough to be a myth in the Upper East Side.

Another thing was this guest Serena insisted on having live in close quarters with them. This guest that has been within an arms reach to him, multiple times, this week since she'd gotten here. He could have so easily reached out and grazed her pale cheeks or twirled a chocolate curl between his fingers.

Blair Waldorf was something he could not have. He had wanted her before he couldn't have her, though. She was just even more desired now that he couldn't even look at her without her scolding him for being inappropriate or crude.

He wanted her as she lay in her bathing suit, sipping drinks on the lawn chairs with Serena. As she raised a disapproving eyebrow at no doubt his sister's antics, or lack there of, the corner of his mouth twitched.

The third thing he couldn't have was worse than Blair. It ate away at him like a virus, silently gnawing and so constant that you forgot it was even present to begin with.

How sickeningly ironic that Blair lounged tauntingly in front of the white fortress that housed his darkest memories. He hadn't gone into that guest house since he was eleven and he had no intention of breaking that record.

Blair shifted and her legs grazed against each other. Two long slick limbs coated in silky flesh that could cut off the circulation in his waist when they gripped him. Chuck swallowed and ran a hand through his hair.

His movement was enough to draw Blair's attention to him. She held her gaze with a flushed expression on her face before Serena called her out on it.

That bitch always had to ruin the moment.

But he'd seen it. She was drawn to him, even now with Mark or whatever his name was, occupying the place as her king. She would always be drawn to him, try as she might to deny it, her lips ached for him.

He bowed his head and retired to the living room where he fixed himself a scotch. He didn't hear her open any doors, but her heard her sniffle and he slowly rotated his head around to confirm his thoughts.

Blair stood, with a sheer coverup dress hanging off her body, hiding every contour he imagined running his palms over, then his tongue...

But another sniffle and the utterance of his name relocated his gaze to her eyes, shining and lined with unshed tears. She had her arms wrapped around her torso, shielding his scorching eyes from burning the clothes right off of her. He turned completely and only the couch was between them, although it seemed like so much more.

She spoke first, "Why do you look at me like that?"

Chuck narrowed his eyes in confusion and drowned a piece of his gloom with a sip of scotch.

"Out there, I saw you watching me with that...that look. You can't look at me like that anymore," she spoke calmly, her voice shaking ever so slightly.

Chuck nursed his tumbler, watching the ice bob up and down, nodding as he looked downwards. Blair stood still, watching his peculiar movements with the tears still pushing to escape and her mouth ajar, lips turned toward the hell she knew they were both destined for.

His eyes slid upwards, ensnaring her and evoking a gasp she'd been trying to suppress. He glided over to her, evading the couch and all of the other barriers they'd built to protect their bruised hearts. She stood her ground as he stood so close to her, she could feel his breath tickle her cheeks. The hand that hung off of her shoulder shifted.

"Then how do you suppose I _should_ look at you?" he growled. Blair made an odd noise as if she had tried to muffle a squeak of fear.

"I don't know, Chuck. Just not like that. Since when did you become so transparent?" she bit. Her fire returning if just for a moment.

She met his eyes with her glassy brown ones. He saw the hurt and the pain as she drank him in. His skin should have been tanned by the Tuscan sun and his cheeks rounder from all the gelato.

He set his glass on the side table and used the now free hands to tuck her hair behind her ears, letting his palms slide under her jaw and rest there contently. His thumbs stroked her warm cheeks as she let her eyes slide closed, breathing in through her nose the scent of fresh scotch and something sweetly rustic.

"I've always looked at you like I had to touch you," he whispered, drawing her face closer to his.

Blair's eyes fluttered open and she pressed her lips together nervously.

"That I can handle. It's when you look at me like I broke your heart that drives me insane," she whispered right back, looking into his dark eyes, desperate for her.

She lessened the distance between them, letting her lips come within a millimeter of his. To anyone else it would have looked like a kiss, but it wasn't. She wouldn't let it be. Her breath clouded his senses and he slowly ran his thumbs over her cheek once more, coaxing her to just let go for a second of bliss they both longed for.

"We both know you don't have one," she uttered, before breaking away and scurrying back to the lawn.

Chuck clenched his jaw and downed the rest of his scotch, trying to erase the taste of her breath on his lips.


	2. You're Awful, I Love You

**Chapter 2: You're Awful, I Love You**

**Taken from the Scene at lunch with BC in matching green 3 sigh love**

Chuck dug his hands into the pockets of the mint green suit as he made a mad dash for the cellar. His father hid the whiskey there and he needed some aged perfection to dull the hole in his heart.

That hole shouldn't even be there. Since when did he get all choked up over some bitch anyway. That was Nate's job, Chuck was the entertainment. All pleasure, all the time.

He made such a stomping on the steps that he didn't hear the clacking of heels on the stone tiles in the foyer behind him. Moving furiously, he pushed aside bottles in the cabinet until he found one in the back, his father's prizes Cask Strength whiskey. Rare and almost undrinkable due to the sharp burning it caused. He wrapped his hand around the neck and turned to fetch a glass when he came face to face with a royally pissed Blair.

"Really, Chuck, are you that much of a bottom feeder that you will insult Serena's Grandmother and quiz my boyfriend?! Quiz him? It baffles me how you are able to socially interact at all," Blair rambled.

"What do you care, Blair, it only makes him look like more of a perfect call boy anyway, so I'm really doing you a favor," he spat. Blair huffed as he forgot the glass and just drank from the bottle. He winced as the liquid suffocated him, but swallowed none the less and sighed, looked wildly at Blair.

She glared intensely at him and she grabbed the bottle, swigging it herself before coughing and looking utterly disgusted.

"What the hell is that?"

Chuck ignored her and snatched the bottle back, closing in on her with and accusatory pounce.

"Why do you insist on pinning that goddamn heart to every goody prince you meet, huh?" he yelled. Blair was flabbergasted, not having any idea what he was barking about.

He took another swig from the bottle and didn't wince.

"Why them, those cut out, carbon copy, pretty boys? They will never satisfy you and you know it, Blair," he snarled. Blair grabbed the bottle and sipped it, twisting her face up in disgust as she swallowed.

"They may not 'thrill' me like you seem to think you do, but at least I know they will never leave me halfway across the world as they fuck some working class slut!" she screamed, shoving the bottle back into his hands.

"That's fantastic, Blair, fucking fantastic," he said brusquely. Blair stood, out of breath and nodded, trying to bask in her venting. "So," Chuck said, swinging the bottle around, "You're just going to settle for some José da Silva Pereira and call it a day? That sounds great to me, I think we all win in the end, don't you?"

"Oh, yeah, and you think you're some kind of Paul Varjak?" Blair scoffed, shaking her head.

"I'm a hell of a lot more of a likely candidate than your souvenir out there. The new fall lines at Bendel's get you more worked up than he does," Chuck volleyed. He was in her face, challenging her to defend herself and her alleged perfect new life.

Blair shrugged, "So what if he doesn't? You think I'm going to come running to you all hot and bothered?"

Chuck gave her his signature once over. Her body was taught and her cheeks flushed. Her hands gripped her hips and her pouty red lips curled upwards into a smirk of sorts.

He leaned into her ear, "You're here, aren't you?"

Blair pushed him away angrily and he stumbled backwards, splashing whiskey about their feet.

"Don't touch me, Bass, as far as I'm concerned, you and I no longer mean anything to each other. I don't even care enough about you to hate you!" she cried.

"Good, at least we understand each other," Chuck said, taking another shot from the bottle.

Blair nodded curtly, "Exactly." She slid the bottle from his fingers and took a shot herself. Coughing, she placed it on the shelf beside them and shook out her hair.

"So, you're free to return to your kept-man. I'm sure he's been doted upon by CeCe enough to make Serena jealous," Chuck calmly said.

Blair smirked, "Trust me, Chuck, you are the only one that's jealous."

Chuck laughed, "Don't flatter yourself, B. I gain nothing more from you than I do every other conquest. Your witty banter does add a nice narration, though."

Blair shoved him lightly, "You disgust me."

"You're a horrible liar," he hissed, stroking her cheek, but she recoiled.

"As are you. We both know I'm the only girl whose ever drawn a moan out of those herpes infested lips of yours," she said smugly. Chuck stared her straight in the eye.

"I don't recall anything of the sort, Waldorf. Must have been Nate seeing as you were well practiced by then," he shot back.

"You would know all about that seeing that you fled the country in a jealous rage," she sneered.

Chuck sighed, "I told you I don't get jealous of you."

Blair raised her brow, "And I told you that you were a terrible liar."

"You can't prove anything, Waldorf, according to you, we never happened," he jabbed. Cocking his head to the side.

"Is that what you think?" she asked coyly. She leaned back to lounge on the wine cases.

"Well, I agree it's a marvelous idea and have already forgotten myself," he said offhandedly.

"Even that night on my birthday? I think that was your finest hour, Bass," she said in a husky voice she wasn't all to aware of.

"It escapes me. Care to jog my memory?" he proposed.

Blair dealt a poisonously sweet smile, "If you mean that I should jump you here in this filthy cellar then you hardly know me at all." She pushed herself from her relaxed position and sauntered over to Chuck, his dark eyes undressing her with every step she made.

She took one more shot from the bottle and wiped her mouth with his sleeve.

"First step aged whiskey," Chuck said in his deep sultry voice, "Next step you purring in my ear as I make good use of those venomous lips of yours."

Blair pressed the bottle to his chest. She looked up at him wistfully.

"You do look more like Paul with your hair combed like that," Blair spoke calmly as she flicked her gaze upwards to his hair. Chuck merely stared at her, the electricity crackling and sizzling between them.

"Holly had nothing on you," Chuck whispered, leaning forwards slightly to emphasize his point.

Blair sighed and said, "I suppose." She turned and left Chuck, drooping with the bottle loose in his hand as he watched her ascend the stairs.

Another swig sounded about right.


	3. She Knows Just How To Hold Me

**A/N: So the last chapter was a bit more light hearted than this one. I'm laying it on a little thick here, but the spolier i read really got my wheels turning and i think it adds an interesting dynamic to Chuck's character. Anyway, the last chapter's references were from Breakfast at Tiffany's if anyone was wondering where the random names came from. Jose was the rich Brazilian aristocrat of sorts that Holly was going to marry for money. He left her, though, when her brother died and she had a psycho breakdown. Paul was the male prostitite of sorts that had befriended Holly throughout the story. I thought that was fitting, don't you :). **

**Chapter 3: She Knows Just How To Hold Me**

The sun was casting a tangerine glow over the white houses of the Hamptons as it sunk into the ocean. Blair felt the urge to wind down with good old Audrey as Serena fetched the ice cream from the freezer. Shuffling through the few titles on the shelf, she groaned in annoyance at the missing movie. It was Charade she was looking for and she knew she'd brought it herself. Turns out the Bass's hadn't visited their Hampton abode for years now so the movies were reduced to old nineties political hits with the stray stoner movie hidden in the back to only Chuck's knowledge.

Speak of the devil, he was the only one who would be interested in watching Charade so he must have taken it. In a flurry of silk and ruffles due to her nightgown, Blair climbed the stairs to the second floor landing and peered into Chuck's room.

Empty.

She dare not rummage through his things, afraid she'd find a pair of panties that weren't hers or Serena's. She did stand and stare at the visible contents of his room, however. It was odd, seeing Chuck's room not in a complete disarray with clothes everywhere and empty bottles of who-knows-what. It was almost as if he went out of his way to not touch anything.

Reviving the vexation that drove her to his room in the first place, she spun on her heel and found Serena still in the kitchen with her head in the freezer.

"Serena where..." Blair began, but Serena couldn't hear her.

"Blair, I swear I told Gretta to buy brownie batter but I can't seem to find it," she called from behind the frozen peas.

She threw her hands up in general disappointment with the world at the moment. "It's fine, I just need to find..."

"I bet Chuck ate it. I caught him sneaking some one night back in New York. He had one spoon with him thank gawd!" she rambled and Blair rolled her eyes. If her pep talks weren't so uplifting, Serena would be a complete dud as a friend.

"Yes, well, I'll go and hunt him down for you. Where is he?" she yelled as Serena extracted her head from the frozen compartment and shook the ice out of her hair.

"He's not in his room? Well, last time I saw him he had some blanket with him. He might have gone to the beach but I wouldn't..." Serena said cautiously trailing off.

Blair frowned knowingly, "I'm sure Chuck knows the impact a good sunset has on a girl and he will no doubt exploit it. I'll try and catch him while it's still PG."

Serena looked disgusted and utterly baffled as to why Blair would risk it. Blair beat her to the question.

"He's taken Audrey hostage along with Ben and Jerry," she said offhandedly as she pulled on a sweater.

Serena laughed, "Well, maybe he's with Nate having a bromantic talk about their feelings, is your nail polish missing too?" Blair giggled at the very idea.

"I'm taking my camera phone if that ends up being the case," Blair said jovially, chuckling with Serena before stepping off the porch and onto the walkway.

She saw Martin, the Bass driver, stepping out of the town car and turning in for the night, as if he'd just pulled in.

"Martin, have you seen Chuck?" she asked stoically, not wanting to look to desperate. He may be the hired help, but she did have a reputation to uphold and Dorota was known to let things slip.

Martin nodded, "Yes, I just dropped him off down by Flying Point. He requested that I do not return until after ten."

Blair nodded and noted that the time was only eight thirty at the latest. She faltered before asking her next question, not sure she wanted the answer.

"Was he alone?"

Martin nodded and Blair tapped her foot and finally, frustrated with herself and the entire situation, she requested Martin drive her to Chuck's location.

She had to remove her flats as she trekked along the sandy path between the dunes and tall grass swaying to the evening breeze. Her short kelley green night gown decided to join in and she found herself in quite the Marylin Monroe moment. Blair fastened her cream sweater all but the top two buttons before she reached the opening onto the beach.

Puzzled, she scanned the orangey beach for Chuck, but had to look down the way to her right before she saw a familiar fedora.

He was indeed still alone.

She unconsciously tucked her hair into the crook of her neck and trudged forward; dangling her flats as she tried to look elegant tripping in the sand.

Chuck didn't notice her until she dropped her shoes on the quilt he'd spread and plopped down next to him and a huff of exhaustion. He had two quilts; one to sit on and one to keep him warm that he had draped over his bottom half.

"You would choose the most difficult location to access for your hiding place," she said, with not nearly enough vigor to be believable.

Chuck turned his head to acknowledge her presence as she situated herself by stretching her legs out before her and adjusting her headband. It was funny how they both had signatures that they never strayed from, he thought.

He returned his gaze to the crashing tide and let his head hang before saying, "What makes you think I'm hiding?"

Blair looked at him curiously and then stared at the lantern that sat unlit half buried in the sand.

"Well, you brought that with you so you are at least planning on sitting here for a good hour or so," she commented. Chuck merely gave a distracted nod and Blair furrowed her brow. This was not Chuck.

She reached up and ran her hand along his bicep covered in a plaid button down.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Chuck swallowed and cursed inwardly. He turned to look at her, really look at her, and she did not disappoint. She was leaning back on her hands as her legs lay out before them, creamy white on the dark navy of the blanket. The arch of her back was accentuated by the fluttering green nightgown she wore that only went down mid thigh. Her hair flying in the wind and her eyes narrowed with concern despite the tiff they were in made her more beautiful than she's ever been. The urethral glow she emitted only made the lump in his throat augment painfully.

He locked eyes with her and stared intensely before releasing the words, "Today is the sixth anniversary of my mother's death." He did not blink and neither did she. She maintained the gaze and sighed slowly.

"How did she die?"

Chuck licked his lips and followed the stitching of the quilt before speaking, "She killed herself."

Blair stared at the ghost of sadness that haunted the edges of Chuck's mouth and the corners of his eyes. She said nothing, but continued to watch him.

Chuck nodded, returning to the ministrations of the quilt.

"I hate being in that house on this day. My father redid the entire guest house but the memories are to strong," he said, his voice steady and sharp.

Blair let her eyes fall to the buttons of her sweater. She knew what would come next as a breeze tickled her toes.

"Do you blame yourself?" she inquired bluntly. Chuck looked at her from the corner of his eye and sulked with an air of maturity, as if he was sick of it all.

Then he nodded, but only slightly. Enough for Blair to purse her lips and share his watch of the ocean.

"I do too, for my dad leaving," she said.

Chuck knew that already, and she knew he knew. He smiled sadly knowing this was her way of trying to comfort him. They were both chips off the same icicle.

The silence swallowed them as Chuck kept his eyes glued to the horizon. The light from the sun amplified his features and Blair snuck glances at his stony expression every now and then. Chuck noticed every time.

As the last rays of light got sucked under the sea, Chuck leaned forward to light the lantern. It took him a few tries until he got the small flame to ignite, but the new warm glow was comforting, and it illuminated the tear tracks on Blair's cheeks.

Chuck did a double take and chuckled darkly. Blair glared at him, knowing exactly what he thought.

"I hate to be an ass, but shouldn't I be the one in tears?" he teased, leaning back to his previous position, sitting cross-legged with his hands in his lap.

Blair shook her head and furiously dried her face with the sleeves of her sweater.

"I'm not crying for _you_ if that's what you think," she snapped, adjusting the ends of her nightgown.

Chuck paused for a moment, before draping some of the blanket over Blair, fondly making sure she was warm. Blair stared down at his hands as she brushed over her abdomen. She suddenly looked up and was met with his soft eyes.

"No more tears, tonight we just forget," he whispered, his nose barely grazing hers.

Blair tried her best to contain herself, but she couldn't. She failed miserably.

Closing the gap, she pressed her lips against his. His warm lips responded only slightly and as she opened her eyes, pulling back just enough, she was met with apprehension.

She let her finger trail along his jaw and under his chin as he spoke words she thought weren't even in his vocabulary.

"Blair, I'm sorry, but right now, I just..."

"Shhhh," Blair shushed him by dragging her finger across his lips. He closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed thickly. "Let me help you forget, Chuck."

With that, she kissed him so fiercely he couldn't keep his hands at bay. He threaded his fingers into the tresses of chocolate and tugged her mouth closer to his. Blair gripped the back of his neck as he forced her mouth open and slid his tongue into her deliciously familiar mouth.

"Mmmm," Blair whimpered, but Chuck was quick to assume his role. His hand slid down her spine and latched onto the crevice of the small of her back while the other held onto her neck. Blair knew he was going to lay her down, but she didn't want it to end so quickly.

Capriciously, she jumped into his lap and wrapped her legs around his middle holding him in a python-like vice grip. Chuck raked his fingertips up her thighs and around her rear where the dress was riding up. Blair hastily undid each button, assaulting his neck with nibbling, biting kisses as he pushed the sweater off her shoulders. The wind blew from behind her, causing her hair to form a cocoon around their heads as their lips melted together again and again.

Chuck gripped his fingers so tightly around her hips he was sure it would leave bruises and kissed down her silky collarbone into the valley poking out from the conservative nightgown. He flicked the straps off her shoulders and exposed enough to assail down between her breasts, bra-less and sultry.

She tangled her hands in his hair, pulling on it, and pushing the fedora off into the sand. Blair flung her head back with her mouth agape as she squeezed her eyes shut in pure euphoria. She panted for breath as Chuck's hands devoured her sides, invading every curve she was so ashamed of.

He roughly crashed his mouth onto her swollen lips and he whispered, "I've missed you." Blair smiled seductively and slithered her hands down his neck and onto his chest.

"Prove it to me," she hissed right back, but Chuck needed no more persuasion. He flipped her onto her back and straddled her, throwing the blanket over them, he tugged the dress off of her body viciously. Blair worked the buckle of his khakis and shoved them down to his ankles. He left hot wet kissed from her neck down to her warmest place as Blair moaned so loud he was thankful for the muffling breeze.

Kissing her spot once, she dragged his head back up to her lips and kissed him fervently and heatedly, catching his bottom lip between her teeth. The smacking of lips was dominating as she slid her hands down his abs and around to his back, savoring the feel of him, and not knowing if she would ever experience it again.

He sent her into a frenzy as he nibbled under her ear, her nails digging into his back as she bit her lip to suppress her scream. His callous touch had marred nearly every inch of her skin.

"Chuck..." she mumbled, and she squeezed his biceps, kissing him hungrily. Chuck lifted her hips and he slid into her at first, and then pounded into her. She was so warm and soft, she couldn't have been with anyone else since him.

"Ohhhmyghod!" she cried, as he began to quicken his movements even more. She wrapped her smooth and supple legs around his middle again, and his hot breath on her neck sent fire down her spine.

In and out, up and down, they moved as the blanket hid their tryst from prying eyes. He moved faster and faster, his hips were electrified every time they collided with hers. He was messy and greedy, but she reveled in every second of it. He finally felt her squeeze him and heard her scream, knowing as she reached up to kiss him. One more thrust, slamming into her, and he exploded, grunting with his release.

In the back of his mind he noticed he had no protection on, but Blair's slow lingering kisses pulled him from his thoughts and into the sensation of being inside her mouth.

No words were spoken as he flopped down beside her, trying to regain his breathing pattern. She basked in her afterglow, before turning to her side and resting her head contently on his heaving chest. Chuck felt his heart stop as she draped her arm across his ribs, humming gently, and he hesitantly lifted his arm to encompass her bare shoulders.

He tugged the blanket up a tad to cover their entwined bodies and shield them from the breeze. Blair would then fall into a blissful sleep, her distanced breaths tickling his chest. He would lay unmoving, trying to make this feeling of utter content and heavy emotion last as long as possible until Martin would return a half an hour later, claiming Mr. Bass senior demanded Chuck return home immediately.

Their return into the house with tousled hair and rosy cheeks would go unnoticed. Serena left Blair's ice cream on the coffee table, melting, as she had fallen asleep with hers in the middle of an O.C. marathon. Blair called Greta to tend to the snoozing blonde and collapsed in her own bed, not sure what parts of the past hour were real and what was the wishful musings of her imagination.

**A/N: Finally, the best part about their relationship...CB sex ;) Although the writers at GG haven't caught on yet, much to everyone's dismay. **


	4. And When Her Edges Soften

**Chapter 4: And When Her Edges Soften...**

Flipping pages of a ten pound history book, fourteen year old Blair tried her best to instill ever fact about the Peloponisian war into her brain. She hastily scribbled notes into her notebook as she perched on her satin quilted bed still in her school uniform. She was broken from her reverie when a pale boy stood stoically in her door frame.

She raised her eyebrows expectantly and tapped her fingers on her notebook impatiently.

"Hi, Chuck," she said, already irritated. "What do you want."

He inspected the carpet and pushed his hands so far into his pockets she feared he would rip them.

"I don't know."

Blair examined him for a moment, letting her eyes take in his defeated demeanor.

"Well Nate's not here, so, if there's nothing else you came here for, I do have a test tomorrow," she bitched. Gangly Chuck waded into the room and lifted himself up onto the bed, sending her papers flying.

"Chuck, what the..."

"Why do you make yourself throw up?"

Blair froze and turned slowly to stare at Chuck, bewildered that he both knew and had the impudence to mention it.

"Where did you hear that?" she managed to spit out. Chuck shrugged.

"Nate doesn't know if that's what your worried about," he said nonchalantly, plucking a piece of lint from his pants.

"I...is that what you came here for? Chuck Bass expressing some semblance of worry about another human being?" she said, a spiteful undertone seeping through. Chuck merely closed the history book and sat, indian style, facing her with a slouched disposition.

"My father got rid of the last of my mother's things today," he said, strong and unwavering. Blair, still stricken from her secret being left out in the open, gaped at him. This conversation just got stranger and stranger.

He nodded for no one in particular and continued, fraying the ends of his shirt.

"He got rid of all her Hermes scarves. Every last one. He packed them up and shipped them to one of the charities she used to endorse," he rambled. Blair winced, not knowing how she could live with one of her parents leaving her.

"I'm sorry, Chuck, I had no idea...I mean it's been years now, so I thought you were over it, I guess," she stumbled over her words. Chuck sighed through his nose and pursed lips. He suddenly began to stare intently at Blair who withered under his gaze.

"_What_?"

"You never answered my question," he said. Blair, flabbergasted, tried to change the subject, but Chuck grabbed her hand. "I don't get it. You have nothing to be ashamed of, Blair."

Blair blinked furiously to hide the tears, "It's not that, I just...I don't know. I don't really want to talk about."

Chuck tilted his head sideways and smiled, his scarf slide a bit around his neck.

"Okay," he said, bobbing his head with finality.

Blair let out a sigh, "Good, because I really must get back to studying I'm totally swamped..." she said, rummaging through the askew papers.

"Blair..."

"What?"

As soon as she looked up, Chuck leaned forward and captured her lips in his. She froze, and let her eyes slide closed as he stroked the underside of her chin with his thumb. When he pulled back, Blair's eyes were still shut. She hurriedly fluttered them open and stared with a mixture of shock and a small dose of giddiness.

"Chuck, what the hell is wrong with you?!" she said, between the steam pouring from her ears.

"You're beautiful, Blair, everything about you," he said, cool as a cucumber and sweeter than she though humanly possible, for Chuck at least.

Blair shoved him backwards, "Get out, you can't say things like that! I'm with Nate, your BEST friend, remember?" She smoothed the wrinkles in her skirt and fixed her hair, all with a disgusted expression plastered on that wasn't the least bit convincing.

Chuck winked and slid off the bed, making his way to the door.

"Thanks for chatting with me," he said, his smarmy air back in place, "Even though you didn't say very much."

"OUT!" she yelled, as she jabbed her finger towards the door. Chuck sauntered out as if he'd just stolen a kiss from the princess of the Upper East Side.

Well he had, after all.

Chuck snapped out of his flashback as he watched Blair sleep peacefully in her room. He leaned against the doorframe and just observed the way her hair fanned out on the pillow behind her and how her lips were just slightly ajar, and red enough to kiss.

She was still a little flushed from their earlier activities but the pink tinged cheeks suited her well. It made her look fourteen again.

Funny how things come full circle.


	5. Must Be The Sign On My Head

**A/N: This chapter is based on this mysterious conversation between Chuck and Blair at the white party. She's just spoken to Lord Marcus about her usage of him to make Chuck jealous and Chuck finds Blair. The pictures ****show hand holding and mood swings, but this is just what I would hope to have happened.**

**Chapter 5: Must Be The Sign On My Head**

The white party was in full swing, socialites and stockbrokers alike were well buzzed and laughing at meaningless subjects. The blur of white cotton and silk and organza blinded her as she sulked by the fountain.

Chuck made his presence known and stood before her, hands in pockets and an intense gaze fixed upon his face.

"Does he know?" he asked curtly. Blair looked at him genuinely confused. "About the beach, that night..."

"No."

Chuck nodded and shifted his jaw.

"He _thinks_ he knows," she said. "He says I'm using him to make you jealous."

Chuck smirks at how after school special their lives have become.

"That's not entirely false, now is it?" he taunted. Blair glared at him and shook her head, narrowing her eyes.

"Please," she sneered, "I don't need to use him to accomplish that." She raised her eyebrows mockingly.

Chuck dropped his eyes to the stone below them and tightened his mouth.

"Well, it's quite effective, I must say," he uttered, only looking up to see her reaction.

"Chuck..."

"Blair."

She eyed him with guilt and disdain. He held her wrists tenderly and she twitched ever so slightly.

"He bores you, you said it yourself," he coaxed.

Blair shook her head, "Chuck, we can never be. Whether it be the stroke of fate or your inability to think with your head and not with Chuck Jr., we can never happen. Haven't you figured that out by now?"

Chuck just continued to tear her apart with his fiery stare.

"We fixed it once..."

"Only to crash and burn even worse than before."

"Then how do we always end up here?"

Blair looked to the side, unable to withstand his intensity any longer. He took the suspended moment to go in for the kill.

"You ruined me for anyone else, Blair. All I ever want, now, is you."

"Well you ruined everything. You're a danger to me and my entire future!" she cried.

Chuck rolled his eyes, "Let's not get overdramatic here, honestly."

Blair tugged her hands from his grasp and clenched them at her side.

"You want honesty?" she seethed, poking his chest.

"That would be a refreshing change," he bounced right back. This was how they were, this was how they breathed.

"I'm pregnant."

Chuck wavered. Blair stood shaking with anger and relief.

"It's only been two weeks..."

"That's all it takes, Chuck."

The impasse they'd reached struck them to stone, staring at each other, blank and burdened.

"What are you going to do?" he breathed, choking on his words.

Blair shrugged, as if he'd just asked her what Jimmy Choo was cuter.

"Have you told anyone?"

Blair shook her head, relaxing and easing her shoulders from tense to pissed off.

Chuck didn't believe it.

"Not even Serena?"

Blair gave him a look as if the answer was obvious.

"She's got her own problems, as you can see," she said, gesturing to where Serena and Nate were sucking some serious face in the middle of the garden for everyone to see.

Chuck nodded and scowled at his best friends audacity.

"Well, we can do something...together..." Chuck mumbled, but Blair held her hands up in protest.

"No, Chuck. We barely function together as is, I don't want to burden a child with it," Blair said firmly. She looked at him with worn eyes, as if she was tired of everything. Chuck couldn't let this go so easily, like it was something so trivial.

"Blair, it's my child too," he argued. Blair rubbed her eyes with her hands and then let them hang at her side.

"Chuck, if you love me, you'll let me do this on my own," she proposed. Chuck was beside himself with frustration. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and paced a little to the left and right.

"Fine," he finally decided, "If that's what you want." His misery shone through his facade of indifference and Blair chose this as the moment to exit the confrontation. It was their last night in the Hamptons, and Chuck had found himself leaving more behind than he arrived with.

I guess it's true that what happens in the Hamptons, stays in the Hamptons.

**A/N: ooo twist. how gorgeous would a waldass baby be?**


	6. Does The Fun Ever Start?

**A/N: A special thanks to those amazing people who review and those who've favorited and story alerted this story. You inspire me to no end, and things are about to get really messy. **

**Chapter 6: Does The Fun Ever Start?**

The courtyard of Constance-Billard and St. Jude's was a sea of well dressed teens shuffling to class. It was October, so the short lived tizzy of being Seniors had already worn off and was replaced by heavy course loads and all of a sudden becoming the president of every club.

It was for Blair anyway.

Chuck chose to wander the perimeter and scour the crowd for any freshman he might have missed in September. But much like the second semester of his junior year, his eyes only stuck to Blair.

Blair, in a white cape-like overcoat and a low riding pencil skirt, floated through the crowd to the side of the steps. Against the brick leaned her new boyfriend, Jeremy Tompkison. Lord Marcus fled the coop once he and Blair called it quits and she'd met Jeremy at a party thrown by Nate, of all people. They hit it off and his french lineage attracted Blair.

He had no idea she was with child.

She did a pretty good job covering it up. Word is that she hasn't given it up to him in the slightest. Barely a shirt button undone. It settled Chuck's stomach slightly, but he knew the Tompkison family. Jeremy's older brother Blaise used to knock Chuck around the playground quite a bit. He never quite forgave him for it.

Blair wrapped her arms around Jeremy and planted a picture perfect kiss on his lips. It was Nate Archibald all over again in Chuck's eyes, accept unlike with Nate, Chuck couldn't find it in himself to trust the guy.

Jeremy worked his hands down her sides and the lower his hands migrated, the further Blair drifted, until she was barely at arms length.

"Not here where everyone can see, Jeremy," she cooed nervously. Jeremy looked annoyed for a moment, and then he softened.

"Blair, we don't do it anywhere. It's not me, is it?" he asked. Blair was quick to shake her head in opposition.

"No, lets just get to class, okay?" Jeremy obliged reluctantly and trailed behind her as they walked up the stairs.

Chuck saw his lingering look of sexual starvation and he knew whatever they were doing together wasn't going to last much longer. The bell had rung anyway so he figured he'd at least make an appearance in class.

* * *

"I just don't want to, okay!" Blair screamed as she stood across the room from Jeremy in her bedroom.

The mousy haired boy threw his hands up in the air.

"Well I do! I go out to dinner with you, I buy you flowers, I cater to your every need, and you can't even do this for me?" he snarled. Blair slacked her stance and fidgeted nervously. He did do everything right, so she could understand his anger, but she just couldn't tell him. She barely knew this guy in terms of his loyalty.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not the type of girl who you can bed that easily," she spat, folding her arms protectively around herself. Jeremy seethed.

"You aren't going to make me force you, are you?" he uttered, dangerously close to her. Blair stepped backwards into the wall with a horrified and frightened expression.

"Get the hell away from me, don't touch me!" she growled under her breath, however she didn't sound as threatening as she would have hoped.

Jeremy grabbed her wrist, "I will touch my girlfriend if I want to. Come on, you were so willing to give it up to two guys in one week last year, what the hell happened?" Enraged, Blair shoved him backwards into her bedpost and he stumbled before rushing at her and slapping her across the cheek. Blair gasped and felt her head collide with the wall. She lifted a shaky hand to her ginger cheek.

"Get. Out." was all she said. Jeremy tore from the room, nearly ripping the door off it's hinges in his wake.

Blair sank to the floor, paralyzed with shock and unsure as to why she was all of a sudden sobbing. She rested her forehead on her knees as her body shook with her tears pouring onto her linen skirt.

She was so distraught she didn't even notice a blonde mane pop it's head into the doorway. Serena caught sight of Blair crying and feared that what she'd just heard actually transpired.

"Blair, sweetie, are you okay?" she cooed, pulling Blair into her lap and stroking her hair.

Blair shook her head and sniffled, "Yes, I'm fine. I'm just so tired, S. Tired of living like this." A fresh wave of cries took over and she clutched Serena's knee as her entire body succumbed to her sorrow.

"Like what?" Serena asked. She already knew the answer. She heard the smack of skin on skin and she could guess by Blair's current state that Jeremy had hit her.

"I just wish this baby never happened," she mumbled, ignoring Serena completely. The blonde tensed and it was then that Blair chose to acknowledge her. Serena stared wildly at her as Blair rose to her sitting position.

"Baby..." Serena said, hoping that Blair had just ranted about some figment of her imagination. Maybe she'd gotten that bulldog finally and named it Baby.

But Blair looked down in her lap and nodded, shattering her world. Serena felt deja vu wash over her and she tried to remember how she handled this before. Oh yeah, not so well.

"Whose it it?" Serena asked, sickened at how many prospective fathers there were. Marcus, Jeremy, and the nagging sense that it was Chuck. Please god let that not be the case again.

"It's Chuck's," Blair said, her voice a quivering mess.

Shit.

How did this happen? Again!?

Wait...did she say that out loud?

Blair shook her head in shame and answered what Serena couldn't remember asking, "That night we were supposed to watch a movie and eat ice cream, I found him on the beach, beating himself up over his mom. One thing led to another and then...yeah."

Serena nodded, "So, I thought you just ate it all but I'm guessing you never found the brownie batter..."

Blair nudged Serena playfully and for a moment, everything was normal. If Serena hadn't noticed the growing purple blotch on the side of Blair's face, it would have been like there wasn't a baby or any crisis for that matter.

She reached up to touch it, but Blair looked away, turning a deep shade of pink.

"Please don't tell anyone," Blair begged softly. She hardly made eye contact as she fiddled with the carpet fibers.

Serena's face was painted with pity and concern, "B, we have to. At least tell me you aren't going to see him anymore." Blair nodded and Serena could see the darkness cast over her eyes. No one hurts Blair Waldorf and lives to tell the tale. Except for Chuck, but they both knew he was a special case.

**A/N: I'm struggling with the decision to harm or not harm the Waldass baby...as horrible as it sounds lol. I loooove angst drama but I just can't bring myself to do it. What do you guys think I should do?**


	7. You've The Blood of a Jackal

**A/N: Okay so I just wanted to give my deepest thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers again and express how much i love seeing the things you guys have to say and that you are enjoying my musings. A special thanks to ggfan1516 formerly hpchick1516, who has reviewed every chapter, and SimplyShelbySJL for the HUGE review that i loved. You can ramble on any time :)**

**Chapter 7: You've The Blood of a Jackal, You're Beautiful**

Jeremy called the next day, begging Blair to forgive him. He explained how his brother just got charged with possession and how his family was going through a rough time. He didn't mean to take it out on her, he claimed, and Blair, for a second, felt sorry for him.

But she didn't even consider forgiving him until later that afternoon when she got home from school. Her room was filled with red roses to the point where she couldn't tell the floor from the furniture. Giggling, she plucked the note from the bouquet by the door and melted just a little with Jeremy's kind words. He seemed sincere and she'd known friends who had little mishaps like this with their boyfriends.

That night, they went out to dinner and the routine was back on.

Chuck had been staring at her left cheek all day.

* * *

The worst part of Blair's pregnancy was the sickness. At least one and a half months in and she's still finds herself vomiting up all of the croissant she ate this morning and the orange juice that she was starting to regret. Hadn't she ended this chapter in her life with Dr. Sherman?

She stopped to catch her breath, leaning against the toilet with her shaky arms supporting her body. Go figure Chuck's baby would be tormenting her like this. You know what they say about apples and trees.

Consequently, Jeremy chose this exact minute to pay Blair a visit, thoughtfully bringing a scone from the bakery he stopped at on his way. The sight of her hunched over the toilet, wrenching, told him the scone might not have been such a brilliant idea. He found it in his stomach to approach her and offer comfort.

"Blair? What's wrong, are you okay?" he asked cautiously. Blair rolled her eyes at the horrible luck she seemed to retain and at the idiocy of Jeremy's question.

Of course she wasn't okay, do people normally puke their brains out for fun?

"I'm fine, I just had some bad sushi or something," she lied, grasping the toilet paper and wiping her mouth as quickly as she could. Standing up, she smoothed out her skirt and attempted to regain some semblance of grace in this horrid situation.

"Sushi? For breakfast? Blair, it's not even nine in the morning yet," Jeremy reasoned. Wonderful, Blair thought, now he chooses to be intelligent.

"Don't be ridiculous, honey. Now I have to get to school on time, so if you just waited ten minutes I promise I will be presentable," she said, buzzing around her room trying to gather lip glosses and hair brushes.

"Blair, hey...will you just..." Jeremy tried, but she wouldn't slow down. Grabbing her arm tightly, Blair widened her eyes in fear that maybe it wasn't just one mishap. Spinning her around, she was met with concerned Jeremy instead. She still held her breath. "I'm worried about you, are you sure you're alright?"

Blair smiled sweetly, "Yes, but I won't be if I'm late for school." Jeremy laughed at her typical obsession with perfection and released her.

He lounged on her bed as she redid her makeup and thought out loud, "Good, because I was worried you were pregnant or something. Crazy right?"

Blair dropped her eyeliner and swallowed thickly. Jeremy noticed. Scrambling to pick it up again, Jeremy sat up on the bed, a different type of concern taking over his features.

"That is crazy, right?" he pressed on, Blair opening her mouth to say something, but barely releasing a squeak. Shock washed over Jeremy, "Holy shit."

Blair spun around on her vanity chair, "Jeremy, it's not that horrible, I wasn't expecting you to do anything, I just..."

"You're PREGNANT!? How can you keep something like that from me?" he yelled, hopping off the bed and pacing before her.

"I was going to tell you, I.."

"Who's the father, it can't be me, right? No, no way," he rambled and Blair held her forehead between her fingers in frustration.

"No, it's not you, we've never..."

Jeremy continued to mumble on, "And to think I wanted to bed you!" he hissed and Blair sat up straight, offense dripping from her lips.

"What, and being pregnant changes that?" she snapped. Jeremy looked at her incredulously.

"Well, yeah, it's kind of a turn off," he said, as if it was obvious. Blair wouldn't stand for it. She shot to her feet and glared menacingly.

"Chuck wouldn't think so," Blair uttered softly to herself, but Jeremy heard every word.

"Who? Chuck Bass? Why would you..." he said, through squinted eyes. Then, mid-sentence, it dawned on him. He let his mouth hand in disbelief. "Him. He's the father!?"

Blair's silence did nothing but confirm his accusations. He scoffed and shook his head at her.

"You little slut. I though you were with Marcus whats-his-face over the summer," he said, piecing it together as his anger grew rapidly. "You cheated on him, did you cheat on me?"

Blair shook her head as he approached her, "No, I haven't even spoken to him!" She backed up into her vanity, knocking over perfume bottles with her grasping hands.

"You don't have to say anything as he fucks you," Jeremy spat, pressing himself almost flush against her. "You did, didn't you. You cheated on me with him, DIDN'T YOU!?" He shoved her with his last words and Blair shook her head like a frightened puppy.

"No! I swear, I didn't!" she pleaded, fearing a repeat of last time things got this heated.

"Don't lie to me, whore!" he screamed, smacking her across the face. Blair whimpered and shook before him. He grabbed her face in his hand and forced her to look at him. In all the power struggle situations in her life, she'd never been in one so frightening. Ever nerve in her body quivered as his leer bore into her, but she was Blair Waldorf. Nothing scared her.

"I'm not your whore, asshole so go jerk off to someone else," she hissed. Jeremy pressed his lips together and nodded, releasing her face. Blair let a small sigh of relief escape, but within seconds she found herself thrown against the wall. Jeremy pressed her shoulders into the wood and she groaned in pain.

"This is nothing, bitch, brace yourself."

The next thing Blair was cognizant of was her new location on her floor. Her side seared in pain and then, there was nothing. Nothing except punches, everywhere.


	8. Her Body Is My Coffin

**Chapter 8: Her Body Is My Coffin**

Serena tapped her foot nervously on the floor of the classroom as the teacher drawled on about history and some war, or another. Serena was more concerned that her best friend wasn't sitting right next to her, absorbing everything like the mental sponge she was. She'd called her every chance she got, today, and texted her at least fifteen times. Pregnant Blair and absentee Blair were not a good combination.

As soon as the bell rang, Serena sprang from her seat and bounded towards the doors. Lunch wasn't long, but Blair lived just a few blocks from school. Hailing a cab, Serena urgently shoved a fifty in the driver's hand and told him to get her to Blair's building as soon as if his life depended on it.

As the doors to the elevator dinged open, Serena was met with a palpable silence. Dorota wasn't scurrying about and Serena hoped it was because Blair was sick with the flu, or whatever excuse Blair cooked up, and was tending to her.

Calmed with this rationalization, Serena climbed the marble stairs to Blair's room. The time was nearly noon so the halls were darker than usual, little sunlight streaming through the windows. Serena's long shadow slid along the carpeted landing as she slowly made her way to Blair's room, first door on the right.

Knocking, she called Blair's name, but to no avail. She wasn't sure what she was hoping to hear, but her stomach pitted a bit more with the silent reply.

Turning the knob, she peeked her head through and furrowed her brow at the empty room. A few bottles from the vanity laid on the floor but other than that, it was as if Blair had left in the morning and gone to school as usual. The reason for her disappearance was not to be found in this room.

Sighing, Serena peered into the bathroom for good measure and called her name once more.

"Blair?" she yelled, breathily. Again, nothing. Shrugging, she turned on her heel to leave and froze when she heard a soft whimper. Spinning so fast she nearly fell over, she called again, "Blair!?" At first silence, then a stronger whimper, of pain, it sounded.

Serena ran to the open window, maybe thinking Blair was on the the fire escape or something, but as she turned the corner of Blair's bed, she saw the most sickening thing she's ever seen.

Blair lying on the floor, crying silently. Her body was in all odd angles. She was sprawled on the ground with her arms limply over her head, as if she had tried to catch her fall. One arm was bent horribly, an angry purple bruise at the elbow. She was in just a collared shirt and a pencil skirt, but if her face was any indication as to what her body looked like, Serena wouldn't be able to look.

Her pale, porcelain doll face was painted with a horrid black bruise on her cheek, and a greenish one on the other. Her lip was shining with blood from her split lip and she was sure one eye was blackened. From her collar, Serena could see two hand-shaped bruises poking out, as if someone had tried to strangle her.

"S-Serena?" Blair whispered. Her voice was weak and cracked, as her eyes struggled to stay open.

Tears fell onto the carpet as Serena crawled over to her best friend.

"Yeah, baby, it's okay, I'm here," she said, sobbing as her last words tumbled out. She pulled Blair into her lap and stroked her hair as Blair winced at the contact. Serena cried for her as she caressed her limp form. No words were needed between the girls. Serena knew who did this to her, she'd seen this coming, feared it, rather. But both knew that no one could tell Blair Waldorf what to do, so Serena's words would have fallen on deaf ears.

Blair began to quiver and make soft noises of agony, "Serena...m-my..." she tried to say, but she couldn't calm her writhing.

"Blair!? What is it, what's wrong?" Serena cried frantically, adjusting Blair's body so she could sit upright. But that movement alone caused her to scream in pain, and clutch her abdomen. Tears were streaming down her discolored cheeks as she clenched her jaw and gritted her teeth.

Serena shook her head for a moment, trying to figure out what was wrong, then she saw Blair's hand over her stomach and she swallowed thickly.

The baby.

Serena whipped out her cellphone and called an ambulance, barely coherent as she shook with fear.

Serena felt the next few minutes tick by sluggishly as Blair whimpered and trembled in pain. When the ambulance arrived, Serena was swept up in the flurry of white coats and red and the only thing she could remember doing was pleading to ride in the ambulance with Blair, who was sliding in and out of consciousness.

They'd taken her shirt off on the ride there, carefully snapping each button and peeling the fabric from her skin. The sight made Serena gag.

Blair's entire torso was blotchy with bruises. Yellow, green, and deep purple marred her pale skin. The bruises meshed together at times, climbing up her shoulders and squeezing her arms. The worst was below her bra, from her ribs to her hips. Serena couldn't look as the prodded her and nodded to the prospect of a broken rib, or two. They began asking Serena questions, simple questions, but to her they were a wave of noise.

"What's her name?"

"Blair, uh, Cornelia Wal-Waldorf."

"Age?"

"Seventeen."

"Any allergies or conditions?"

"She's, um, pregnant," Serena replied meekly, covering her mouth with her shuddering hand.

The medics scrambled with tubes and wires at this new precarious knowledge. As time hung, they somehow arrived at the hospital and Serena was separated from her as they wheeled her off. The waiting room was where they suggested she, well, wait. She couldn't do this alone, she had to tell someone. Blair had said she told Chuck about her pregnancy, right?

After a few attempts at calming her hands, Serena managed to get Chuck on the phone.

"What is it, sister dearest?" he greeted smugly.

"Chuck, you have to come to the hospital, I...I can't do this! I don't know...what..." Serena rambled, her voice squeaky and desperate.

"Slow down, Serena, what's going on? Who's in the hospital..." he tried, his soothing voice doing everything but that.

"Blair!" Serena cried, and continued to hyperventilate.

"I'm on my way," Chuck said, hanging up the phone. Serena was left with her thoughts until he arrived.

Chuck stood in the doorway of Blair's room. Nurses breezed by behind him as he stood, frozen, stoic, staring.

Blair was lying in a blue bed with a quilt draped over her midsection and below. She was in a paper hospital gown and almost as still as he was. The only sign she was awake was the subtle rise and fall of her chest. Chuck loved that chest, the outside and the inside. Now, the outside was defaced with painful bruises, and he hoped the inside hadn't suffered such an ill fate. He couldn't stop staring at her face, so beautiful, so angelic.

He took slow, meaningful steps towards her bed, sitting on the edge and sighing. Why were their lives always so fucked up? Especially Blair's. She wasn't a saint, but she wasn't the devil incarnate either. She had more flaws and insecurities than any of those other girls, she was just fantastic at hiding them. But Chuck saw everything, except this. He couldn't see how this could come to pass.


End file.
